The 22 Magazine


A Tale of Why We Are So Fucked—As a Species by Lisa Douglass.
September 9, 2013, 10:19 pm
Filed under: WRITING | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Before the Baby Salty Jesus birthed us and we became our non-human selves—it is written that we had once been human. We were real live human beings that liked to kiss and tell and do the Holiest of the holies in front of the video. But that was before the spider incident which later conflates into the Satan incident, which follows:

Once upon a time, in the middle of winter, one winter when we were really fucking cold in our beds and wearing our see-through hot pink number without panties, somebody came to visit us in our rooms. It was the first night after the brand new white sheets and the first night of the spider who stared at us with his beady eyes on our bedspread—wherein we went—what the fuck?—why is that spider’s legs spread out like he is about to run the 100 yard dash and why do I feel like he is conscious and wants to talk to me about something quite important?

We were all ears.

On this night of the spider, we looked again and there was a man, this man was Satan.

Remember: Before this happened—We had known how to love one another without fear and we had understood that one text does not make or break any relationship of value and we had been unafraid to do what we liked because there was no fear to do the Happy.

But, what happened was we wanted to be cool, more than we wanted our hearts deepest desires and Satan knew that on some level when he came to us in the nighttime while we were fast asleep in our angelic poses in our beds without wrappers or crumbs but still in a cute outfit. On that night that Satan came, we opened up our beautiful orphan eyes and said to the Bad son of God because he was more competitive than Jesus and corrupted souls through deviant means:
“hi.”
Satan the Lord of Darkness had a little contract with him and he was charming and good looking.
and Satan goes: “hi.”
We felt our wholeness right then and there. We were no longer ordinary—we were visited by Satan and that fed our enormous but undeservedly so’s ego.
It was terrifying how like a human Satan seemed and how handsome and how we hoped he would text us the next day. (We smoothed our hair in the face of it).
But we weren’t scared of new things at that point, we were still innocent with pure hearts.
What Satan said was hey, you seem cool and I’ve been watching how everyone else kind of looks to you as the model of cool and how you have a hard time with commitment and significant others, so I was thinking you might want to join a club:
The Club of Not Feeling or Caring and Impure Hearts but Look Cooler Than Everyone Else Club.
We thought we might.
He made it sound so fancy.
So, Satan the Lord of Darkness made us sign a commitment to not feeling human emotions at the expense of our inbred coolness. So, we were like: “OK, what do we have to lose anyway, we are always trying to avoid feelings and stuff by eating too much or too little or buying shoes and obsessing on how to wear our hair in order to be neat and different.” But, really we just said, “OK.”
Because we want to be considered cool and like we aren’t over-thinking this shit.
And we signed.
The contract basically said, anyone who loves you from here on our will be seen as the enemy and Lo and Behold it motherfucking was.
After that our hearts were closed off. God and the Baby Salty Jesus were disturbed and kept sending us people who wanted to love us, but we only saw them as suspects in a larger scheme of our newfound paranoia of all things cute and adorable and we read into everything with the one thought: What can this person possibly want from me? Fear Fear Fear Fear Fear Fear Fear Fear Fear Fear Fear I’m Scared, Etc.
Only to be cured with copious amounts of anonymous sex and vast amounts of designer shoes for the girls or car stuff for the boys.
And that is how we became non-human and unable to love.
Please send $200 to Lisa Douglass at her PO Box
PO BOX 48342
Los Angeles, CA 90048
For this most important fact that is unchangeable and why we are all so fucked.
The end.

Lisa Douglass spent her summer watching a stalker through her window and wondered if she could go outside via the roof. Only, whenever she tried there were sheets of chocolate lining the stairs and it seemed so messy. Lisa became tired and unclean. She hoped the stalker was eating well and that he had a change of clothes, adult diapers and all. Lisa Douglass was trapped, and that meant eating copious amounts of Nutella and sleeping all day under her makeshift indoor rain device. Sometimes she had visitors and they got wet, but no one knows what she did with them after. Just that during the visitations they learned to talk in baby dinosaur language and how to fashion a trap for a medium sized human being.



BAM: Where (we) Live Dec 19-22nd (Victoria Valencia.)

Victoria Valencia.

On Dec 19-22nd So Percussion will combine the wonderfully unique voices of Ain Gordon, Greg Mcmurray, Martin Schmidt, and Emily Johnson with an alternating artistic “performer” each night to creatively explore the idea of a home onstage in Where (we) Live at Brooklyn Academy of Music. Artists will include, Paula Greif (ceramics), Marsha Trattner (blacksmith), Ricardo Vecchio (painter), Victoria Valencia (woodworker.) These performances are part of BAM’s 30th Next Wave Festival.

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BAM: Where (we) Live: Dec 19-22nd (So Percussion.)
December 15, 2012, 3:01 am
Filed under: ART, INTERVIEWS, MUSIC, WHERE (we) LIVE | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

SO and Grey

On Dec 19-22nd So Percussion will combine the wonderfully unique voices of Ain Gordon, Greg Mcmurray, Martin Schmidt, and Emily Johnson with an alternating artistic “performer” each night to creatively explore the idea of a home onstage in Where (we) Live at Brooklyn Academy of Music. Artists will include, Paula Greif (ceramics), Marsha Trattner (blacksmith), Ricardo Vecchio (painter), Victoria Valencia (woodworker.) These performances are part of BAM’s 30th Next Wave Festival.

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BAM: Where (we) Live Dec 19-22nd (Paula Greif.)

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On Dec 19-22nd So Percussion will combine the wonderfully unique voices of Ain Gordon, Greg Mcmurray, Martin Schmidt, and Emily Johnson with an alternating artistic “performer” each night to creatively explore the idea of a home onstage in Where (we) Live at Brooklyn Academy of Music. Artists will include, Paula Greif (ceramics), Marsha Trattner (blacksmith), Ricardo Vecchio (painter), Victoria Valencia (woodworker.) These performances are part of BAM’s 30th Next Wave Festival.

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THE WEEK/WEEKEND: Dec 13th-?????!!!

Just a reminder, The 22 will be on vacation from Dec 19th-29th. Weekly listings will return around Jan 1st, and submissions are due for the collage volume by Jan 30th, (though we highly recommend getting them in during these 2 weeks.) Have a safe and Happy Holipocalypse!

The Bark and Scream Series: Eli Keszler: Percussion and Ashley Paul: Alto Sax
THE FIREHOUSE SPACE
December 13, 2012 8:00 pm

Where (we) Live
BAM
Paula Greif, ceramics (Dec 19)
Marsha Trattner, blacksmith (Dec 20)
Riccardo Vecchio, painter (Dec 21)
Victoria Valencia, woodworker/furniture-maker (Dec 22)

Masters at crafting alluring sonic landscapes from the most unlikely found objects, Brooklyn-based quartet Sō Percussion explores the idea of home with a bold experiment in collaborative art-making. Directed by three-time Obie Award winner Ain Gordon (Spalding Gray: Stories Left to Tell), Where (we) Live invites artistic colleagues working in different mediums to participate as both co-collaborator and muse in Sō’s creative process and performance: Grey Mcmurray (itsnotyouitsme, Knights on Earth) writes poignant, personal songs; Martin Schmidt’s videos show the quirky and unnoticed beauty in our homes; and Emily Johnson delivers secret instructions to the performers onstage. Each evening will also feature a special guest artist (listed below). To these and other contributions, Sō adds an astounding range of composed and improvised sounds, inspired by the physical and symbolic places we live.

JOHN HODGMAN: THAT IS ALL
Friday, Dec 21, 2012
The Bell House

Not even John Hodgman, the Daily Show’s resident expert, knows for sure. But he is keeping John Cusack prisoner in his home, just in case. And on December 21, he will perform what is likely to be the last night of comedy entertainment ever.

detail
Letha Wilson

Higher Pictures
Thursday, December 13, 6 – 8 pm

Higher Pictures presents the first solo exhibition by Letha Wilson. Wilson uses photography as a material medium combining photographic images of nature, prints, paint, concrete and wood in a dimensional manner to examine the made world.My artwork uses images I have photographed in the natural landscape as a starting point for interpretation and confrontation. The work creates relationships between architecture and nature, the gallery space and the American wilderness. In the photo-based sculptures the ability for a photograph to transport the viewer is both called upon, and questioned; sculptural intervention attempts to compensate for the photographʼs failure to encompass the physical site it represents. Landscape photography as a genre is approached with equal parts reverence and skepticism.

 

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BAM: Where (we) Live: Dec 19-22nd (Riccardo Vecchio.)
December 12, 2012, 11:01 pm
Filed under: ART, INTERVIEWS, PREVIEWS, WHERE (we) LIVE | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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On Dec 19-22nd So Percussion will combine the wonderfully unique voices of Ain Gordon, Greg Mcmurray, Martin Schmidt, and Emily Johnson with an alternating artistic “performer” each night to creatively explore the idea of a home onstage in Where (we) Live at Brooklyn Academy of Music. Artists will include, Paula Greif (ceramics), Marsha Trattner (blacksmith), Ricardo Vecchio (painter), Victoria Valencia (woodworker.) These performances are part of BAM’s 30th Next Wave Festival.

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THE WEEK/WEEKEND: October 25th-Oct 31st.
October 25, 2012, 12:13 am
Filed under: THE WEEK/THE WEEKEND | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

PLEASE NOTE: ALMOST ALL EVENTS IN NEW YORK AND BROOKLYN THIS WEEK ARE CANCELLED DUE TO HURRICANE SANDY. PLEASE CHECK WITH EACH VENUE ON CURRENT CONDITIONS. IF RELIEF AND TRANSPORTATION EFFORTS GO WELL, WE WILL BE BACK NEXT WEEK  (NOV 7th) WITH NEW LISTINGS. 

JUDY FOX: OUT OF WATER
PPOW GALLERY
October 27 – December 15, 2012

P.P.O.W is pleased to announce Out of Water, our sixth solo exhibition of figurative sculpture by Judy Fox. Well known for her exquisitely rendered human figures, including children that are at once iconic, psychological and subversive, Fox continues to explore mythological references that are used to reflect upon contemporary sociological issues. In her latest installations, virtuoso use of form extends to the surreal, with visual puns used to provoke conflicted emotional reactions. The centerpiece of this new installation is a comely standing life-size figure of a Mermaid. Legs pressed together as if fused into a tailfin, hands paddling downward, she looks dreamily over her entourage. A set of Worms spread out before her like the writhing sea horses that pull the chariot of a Greek sea goddess. They are curvy and sensual — some profiles resemble parts of naked human bodies.

Lubomyr Melnyk
Sat, October 27, 2012 – 3:00pm
First Unitarian Congregational Society

Composer and pianist Lubomyr Melnyk is the pioneer of Continuous Music— a piano technique he has developed since the 70s that uses extremely rapid notes and note-series to create a tapestry of sound. Inspired by the minimal, phase and pattern musics of Steve Reich, Philip Glass, and Terry Riley, yet frustrated by the ecstatic detachment from reality they can encourage, Lubomyr Melnyk created Continuous Music, based in the innovations of the minimalist composers but with its roots more deeply planted in harmony. His first recordKMH: Piano Music in the Continuous Mode (Music Gallery Editions, 1978) is the fruition of the idea he began developing in 1974 reimagines the sentiment expressed by Reich in his watershed Music for 18 Musicians, realized entirely for Solo Piano. Overtones blend or clash according to the harmonic changes. The technique of mastering his complex note patterns and speeds makes his music difficult for the normal pianist, and the kinetic athleticism of Melnyk’s performance is unparalleled.

Teodora AxenteMade of Matter
Ana Cristea Gallery
October 25 – November 24

Ana Cristea Gallery is pleased to present “Made of Matter,” the first solo exhibition in the United States by artist Teodora Axente. Teodora Axente’s work is centered on the duality of spirit and matter – the two spheres of existence between which humans oscillate in an attempt to uncover themselves. Portraying an unexpected array of materials, Axente addresses the essential human drive to reshape oneself. Through the flashy materiality of aluminum foil, satin pillows, nylon bags or curtains, she brings us into a world of mystery that appears to be spiritual, noble and attractive, on first glance. Aluminum foil serves as the central symbol of matter throughout many of her paintings. Its outward shine and its ability to reflect give off an illusory sense of nobility that blinds her subjects.

Andrea DeFelice
Harvestworks
Friday, Oct 26 at 6pm – Opening
Saturday/Sunday Oct 27/28 from 3pm to 7:30pm – Installation

A small coupling of works combining both obsolete and new technologies, then reassembled to represent obsolete fables, folklore, literature, philosophy, mythology, and music. As responses to such stories inspired by the observation of human behavior, symbolic animals, objects and mechanics are used to further illustrate their foibles and behavioral patterns, whether expected or unpredictable.

Vital Vox Festival | “Vox Electronics: Philip Hamilton / Sabrina Lastman / Sarah Bernstein
Roulette
Monday, October 29, 2012 @ 8:00 pm

VITAL VOX: A VOCAL FESTIVAL explores the myriad power of the human voice in its solo and ensemble forms across a multitude of genres. It celebrates composer-performers in the vocal arts who stretch and expand the voice in new and original ways, continuing a strong contemporary tradition developed in the United States. Over the course of two diverse evenings VITAL VOX explores “Vox Electronics.”  Performances draw from wide-ranging international influences and genres including jazz, experimental, contemporary, free improvisation, world music, interactive electro-acoustic and audio sampling.

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